What is Hold Me Tight®?
Hold Me Tight® is a groundbreaking and remarkably successful program for creating stronger, more secure relationships.
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love is a book by Dr. Sue Johnson that describes this approach to healing the couple relationship, an approach derived from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). The book contains a series of “conversations,” guiding couples to a new way of seeing each other and a new way of talking about the availability, responsiveness and engagement that each partner needs in relationship--in other words, how each can be met and supported in the safe haven of their love.
In a series of seven conversations, people in close relationships learn:
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love is a book by Dr. Sue Johnson that describes this approach to healing the couple relationship, an approach derived from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). The book contains a series of “conversations,” guiding couples to a new way of seeing each other and a new way of talking about the availability, responsiveness and engagement that each partner needs in relationship--in other words, how each can be met and supported in the safe haven of their love.
In a series of seven conversations, people in close relationships learn:
- The science of human attachment, with our fundamental need for connection, acceptance and support from another close person;
- The patterns of interaction that prevent or sabotage the very closeness we seek;
- To recognize those patterns when they appear, and stop them;
- To establish new patterns of communicating and connecting, based on love and the need for attachment;
- To carry their new understanding and new skills forward in time, to continue to nourish, deepen and grow their relationship.
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The Hold Me Tight® Workshop is a structured educational program, designed by Dr. Johnson to give couples additional support working through the material in the book. The group format, videos and the presence of facilitators, provide a safe and stimulating container in which each couple can change. Couples are able to make major changes in a short time and leave prepared to continue the growth of their relationship over a lifetime.
This video is an introduction to Dr. Sue Johnson and Hold Me Tight. |
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Hold Me Tight® Workshop Overview
The Asheville workshops are hosted in our home with beautiful mountain views (photo below), in walking distance to the Blue Ridge Parkway and ten minutes from downtown. The Columbia workshop is hosted by the Downtown Church though the workshop location has not been finalized. In Durham, we'll be at the Durham Friends Meetinghouse.
In the workshop, couples will work through at least the first four conversations in Hold Me Tight, and will proceed further as time permits. Research has shown that couples who continue to have "Hold Me Tight®
conversations" (conversation 4 in the book) are able to continue to increase relationship satisfaction. There will also be a closure exercise in which couples review their progress and make plans to build on what they've learned.
The workshop is divided into segments, each centered on a 20 - 40 minute exercise. Short lectures with slides teach the main features of the new knowledge of love and attachment, and videos of couples in session provide powerful examples of the patterns that are common for so many of us. The videos help to normalize the all too common ailment of what Dr. Johnson calls "demon dialogues," the three primary patterns of dialogue that couples tend to get into when they are stressed. Couples will then work privately with each exercise. The exercises are in sequence and are designed to lead each couple step-by-step through the conversations of Hold Me Tight. Workshop facilitators are available for support during this time. Group discussion, in which individual sharing is completely optional, will follow each exercise.
Exercises in the workshop are expanded from Hold Me Tight, and are straightforward, practical conversations in which each couple explores the essential challenges and rewards of their relationship. The intention is that the couple learn to speak in new ways which further their understanding of each other, help each partner learn to hear the deeper meaning of what their partner is saying so they can avoid demon dialogues, and make changes which grow and strengthen their connection.
Click on the play button below to hear a five minute interview with a Hold Me Tight® Asheville workshop participant and Marriage and Family Therapist.
In the workshop, couples will work through at least the first four conversations in Hold Me Tight, and will proceed further as time permits. Research has shown that couples who continue to have "Hold Me Tight®
conversations" (conversation 4 in the book) are able to continue to increase relationship satisfaction. There will also be a closure exercise in which couples review their progress and make plans to build on what they've learned.
The workshop is divided into segments, each centered on a 20 - 40 minute exercise. Short lectures with slides teach the main features of the new knowledge of love and attachment, and videos of couples in session provide powerful examples of the patterns that are common for so many of us. The videos help to normalize the all too common ailment of what Dr. Johnson calls "demon dialogues," the three primary patterns of dialogue that couples tend to get into when they are stressed. Couples will then work privately with each exercise. The exercises are in sequence and are designed to lead each couple step-by-step through the conversations of Hold Me Tight. Workshop facilitators are available for support during this time. Group discussion, in which individual sharing is completely optional, will follow each exercise.
Exercises in the workshop are expanded from Hold Me Tight, and are straightforward, practical conversations in which each couple explores the essential challenges and rewards of their relationship. The intention is that the couple learn to speak in new ways which further their understanding of each other, help each partner learn to hear the deeper meaning of what their partner is saying so they can avoid demon dialogues, and make changes which grow and strengthen their connection.
Click on the play button below to hear a five minute interview with a Hold Me Tight® Asheville workshop participant and Marriage and Family Therapist.
Lindsay-Blair Talks Couples Workshop
Who would benefit from a Hold Me Tight® Workshop?
Broken hearts, broken dreams, broken families--the cost of lost love is too high. In the past, the loss of connection and intimacy was considered a sad inevitability. This is not necessary! Lovers need never lose the fulfillment and security of their connection. A Hold Me Tight Workshop is a practical, effective and efficient way to protect and nourish your love.
If you have a vibrant connection with your partner, learn how to keep it and make it grow. If you are in distress with your partner, start now to heal and rejuvenate your love.
In secure love relationships, partners experience the other person as:
Returning to A.R.E. conversations is the goal of EFT and Hold Me Tight. If you don't currently have that in your relationship, or if you want to strengthen what you do have, join us for a Hold Me Tight Workshop.
If you have a vibrant connection with your partner, learn how to keep it and make it grow. If you are in distress with your partner, start now to heal and rejuvenate your love.
In secure love relationships, partners experience the other person as:
- Accessible (I can count on him, he feels near and I can reach him);
- Responsive (when I ask for help or connection, I can get it);
- Engaged (she is really interested in me and wants to grow our love).
Returning to A.R.E. conversations is the goal of EFT and Hold Me Tight. If you don't currently have that in your relationship, or if you want to strengthen what you do have, join us for a Hold Me Tight Workshop.
Our programs are open to:
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We welcome all couples and partners, including straight, gay, married, partnered,…anybody who is working on it. We feel that diversity in our workshops is helpful to everyone. The challenges of relationship are universal—as universal as is our need for intimacy and connection, for a safe haven in this world. Partners already in couples therapy will likely experience the workshop as supercharging the process of therapy, clarifying and strengthening their desire to reconnect and helping them to return to their therapist with new ideas, a renewed sense of connection, and a better understanding of what’s getting in the way of what they want. |
Our program is not designed for:
A couple in which one or both partners is clearly no longer engaged in the relationship.
A couple in which one or both partners is actively involved in a secret affair with a third person.
A couple in which there is physical or emotional abuse (threat, degradation, humiliation, etc.).
We recommend that couples in these situations seek active couples therapy and other support before attending.
Hold Me Tight® is a registered trademark of Dr. Sue Johnson.
A couple in which one or both partners is actively involved in a secret affair with a third person.
A couple in which there is physical or emotional abuse (threat, degradation, humiliation, etc.).
We recommend that couples in these situations seek active couples therapy and other support before attending.
Hold Me Tight® is a registered trademark of Dr. Sue Johnson.
